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What is S&M?
We are often asked: What is S&M?There is no simple answer to this. S&M is so all-encompassing that a short answer cannot give a good understanding of it. We will try to explain a number of areas of S&M, but we don't pretend that this is a complete picture.
The abbreviation S&M
The abbreviation S&M comes from Sadism and Masochism.The word sadism comes from "The Sade" . Markies Sade enjoyed hurting and mistreating people. He wasn't interested in what his victims experienced. At Roissy we absolutely do not support this way of thinking. The word masochism comes from "Sacher Masoch". Masoch wanted more than anything to be hurt and mistreated. He wasn't at all interested in the experience of the person who victimised him. Again, at Roissy we do not support this way of thinking. Usually in S&M you need two people. For ease, we will call them the 'S' and the 'M'. They can also be called 'dominant' and 'submissive', 'top' and 'bottom', 'master/mistress' and 'slave'. However, there are also people who do S&M by themselves - this is called auto-S&M. To prevent S&M being too quickly associated with the sadism of 'Sade' or the masochism of 'Sacher Masoch', people often refer to what they do as the S&M game. This makes it clear that it is actually only a game.
Not everyone agrees with this. Some consider it to be much more than a game. For a small number, it is a lifes conviction.
In any case, S&M is very important to us at Roissy?
The responsibility
If we from Roissy are participating in S&M, the S will be humiliating, teasing or hurting the M. But not like 'Sade', without consideration for the M. In contrast, the S will be doing their best to do things which the M will like or be turned on by. The S carries the heavy responsibility of choosing the right method and using the right tools out of an arsenal of equipment. The M only has to accept the suffering, you might think. This is not true. The M carries just as much responsibility as the S. He/she has to constantly let the S know if everything is all right (physically and psychologically) or that he/she is on the wrong track.The communication, the bodylanguage
The communication between the S and the M is very complicated, and almost impossible to follow for the uninitiated. If the S and M know each other well, a small movement is often sufficient to understand each other. We are dealing here with body-language. Because a body can't lie, this language always tells the straight truth. The S can read from body-language how far he/she has gone. If the S and M don't know each other, words are often used (whose meaning is agreed upon in advance) to give each other information. The most well known of these is the 'stop' word.S&M isn't what you see on T.V.
Again, the purpose of S&M is to give each other pleasure! S&M is usually not what you see on T.V. It is not a show. It is often complete love play, so can also be tender, soft, subtle and delicious.Playing with power
Outside of sadism and masochism, there is something else that plays a role in S&M games. This is the element of power. Sometimes S&M is called 'playing with power'.
Sometimes the only thing the S wants is to demonstrate that
they have power over the M. The S enjoys the idea of being able to do
whatever he/she wants with the M. The M has no choice but to accept it. For
example the S can prescribe what sort of clothes the M has to wear if they
go shopping. Or the S could tie the M up and whip them. This is the direct
expression of the power the S has. The S can choose and the M has to endure
and obey. However the behaviour of the M can be strong enough to direct the
actions of the S. A question rises from this: Who actually has the power? Or
who gives the power?
The S can't always do everything he or she chooses.
The S can't only follow his or her own wishes, because they are not the 'Sade', and have to take consideration of the wishes of the M. This is often described as: The M puts all the food they like on the table, and from that, the S decides what the meal will be. Then together, they 'cook and eat'.The participants are often crazy about each other.
There is also another factor to the S/M game. The participants are often crazy about each other, and experience the pain as indulgence. In any case they are very careful with each other, because they absolutely don't want anything to go wrong. It seems that pain can be very nice, if carefully dosed. One noticable effect is that in general, people want and can have progressively more pain, which means that experienced people can come across as being very cruel.Trust and the Stop-word.
We have spoken about an enormous trust in each other. Among other things, this comes from the certainty that if the Stop-word is used, the misery is over for the M, and the S and M can talk as equals about what went wrong and why. This prevents the same mistake being made the next time.Safety
At Roissy we also consider safety to be of extreme importance. Nothing should happen to somebody that wasn't planned, like for example falling out of a hoist, or wounding somebody. To increase the level of safety, a large number of tricks must be learned. It is better to learn by talking to others and watching others play than learning by mistake; by then it is often too late.Voluntariness
It should be clear to everybody that everything happens on a completely voluntary basis. If the M really doesn't want to do something, then they simply don't do it. The same goes for the S who also has his or her limits.S/M and Sex
Sex is often a part of S/M. Although some participants see sex as completely separate from S/M, many others become very horny from S/M and combine the two to make both even more delicious. At Roissy everything is OK, as long as the sex is safe.Getting to know the borders
Some participants in an S/M game never go further than their own limits. Others go right to the limit of what they are able to take, and now and then go just that little bit over the limit, to keep it exciting. It seems that where the limit lies can change from one day to the next. Where the limit is should be constantly tested. Never think : yesterday this was Ok so today it will be too.Control through Roissy
We at Roissy kep a sharp eye on all the above mentioned matters. If someone doesn't keep to the rules, they are no longer welcome at Roissy.Clothing
The well known television image of leather hoods over the head, is only a small part of S/M and is used on the television because it allows the participants to remain anonymous. If these hoods are used in an S/M game, it is usually to keep the M from seeing what is going on around them. The blindfold is used for the same reason. A disadvantage of the blindfold is that eye contact is lost. Some people like leather in S/M because it is so tough or because of its smell; others find lingerie and suits and ball-gowns much more exiting. Plastic or rubber clothing are also very popular; uniforms and the military look are sometimes used too. Its whatever turns you on. Even an old pair of jeans can be exciting.How do you start with S/M
Beginning with S/M can be a big problem. Where do you go and who can you trust? Many people have been walking around with S/M fantasies since their youth. But where can they go with them? Mostly we are toaght that S/M is unhealthy or bad, just like masturbation is 'bad' for you. But these days we know better. There are no precise figures known about how many people are involved in S/M but we think that the figure lies around 100,000 people in Holland alone. It depends of course on how you define S/M. If you scratch your nails over your partners back when you orgasm, do you call it S/M?? Is playing a rape scene with your partner S/M?? In any case we are not fussy.We can help getting you started with S/M
If you have S/M feelings, you are welcome with us. Just to talk, or to participate in S/M. We can bring you in contact with a reliable S or an incredibly beautiful M. This wouldn't take place at Roissy because Roissy is only for people who have already been voted into the group. We don't want any spectators. Only after you have been voted into the group will you be able to join us at Roissy.L. and M. thanks for translation
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